The fallacy of man

This week was the 1st week of summer classes for me. I have the same class every day, 5 days a week. I did not skip any class at all this week. I am proud of myself for accomplishing what has up till now been an impossible feat for mankind*.

Monday, i went to class. I understood everything that was said on the 1st day. This is also another great accomplishment for the human race. Tuesday and Wednesday were also record setting days. The future indeed looks bright for us humans.

Thursday came, and it was an equally impressive day. Granted, i woke up a bit late and missed 5 minutes of class at the beginning, but i managed to grasp everything that happened, and even extrapolate the information i received to recover what was missed in the 1st 5 minutes. Another giant leap for mankind. They seemed to be on a roll those past few days. Only one thing bugged my mind that fine Thursday. Right after class ended, the professor mentioned that there will be no class the next day. I wondered what the occasion for holiday was, as this certainly was not planned, and it was not my birthday either. After a bit of thought, i decided that i had accomplished enough for the week and i should just head home and rest.

I got home and headed straight for my technology throne**. It was this throne from which i commanded all that stood before me with my optically tracked laser pointing device***, and watched over them on my 2 all seeing eyes****.

I checked the time/date indicator and to my greatest surprise, it showed 12.00pm Friday, 20th May 2005. A full 24 hours after i expected it to be. Then it dawned upon me that i had solved one of the world’s greatest mysteries. This is truly what separates a human from a mere monkey. The ability to transcend time.

Surely there will never be another week in the history of mankind in which he would accomplish so many great things…

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Definitions for monkeys:

* i am the only human, the rest of you are just sophisticated monkeys.

** you monkeys call this a "computer chair"

*** what monkeys call a "mouse". Damn you monkeys make everything sound so cheap and trivial

**** i am still trying to find the proper monkey language translation for this. But i believe the closest translation is "awesome dual 21 inch Trinitron monitors". Damn you monkeys like to make things sound so long and confusing.

***** monkeys are stupid

I’m sure many of us came across this kind of people:

Being a Chinese(or any other race, same goes to any ‘chinese’ down the text), but educated in non-chinese school since young. Borned in an English speaking family, parents may or may not know and read Mandarin(the language, not spoken dialect). There’re just bunch of ‘bananas’ who thinks they are different from other chinese simply because they speak English  They prefer the western culture and degrade their own chinese culture, seen that kind of people? They called non-english-speaking chinese Ah Beng & Ah Lian, who also said to be fashion criminals… They think learning chinese is nonsense, chinese songs are sloppy tunes, lion dance and drums are noisy, ‘yam seng’ disgrace them in the wedding dinner, and finally… they think studying and sending their kids to chinese school is a complete waste of time, and for lousy education!!

Gosh, take a good look at yourself at the mirror man! Don’t forget how does your name sounds, you’re not any different from an ordinary chinese. Why is there a superiority of you over other chinese just because you were english-ed? WTF with all the nonsense of yours degrading your own race, trying hard not to be one of them? Well if you do, why are you receiving angpow during CNY? Give them to me!!  Why are you eating shark’s fin soup or abalone in the wedding dinner and decline to join the ‘yam seng’ shout-out? Why do you eat ‘yee sang’ for the good will of you business? These are all chinese culture, favour them you favour the rest!

Conclusion:
Being a chinese is not a disgrace. Nobody ever said that the whites are the superior race in the world, yes they are strong today but take a good look at their history, have they ever betray their culture? A race will only be strong when its traditions and cultures are well kept. Your parents sent you to English school last time for the sake of your future, not asking you to deny your identity as a chinese! English is just a language, a common communication accepted worldwide, and yes it allows you to speak fluently to the whites in your business, that’s all! No big deal about it, chinese-ed people do speak and write good english, but they have good command of mandarin too! It’s your disgrace for not knowing your own culture and not speaking your own language, what more when you even deny it… Shame on you!  There’s no need of culture ranking, it’s culture by itself!

p.s. These are to the mentioned people, I do know that some weren’t educated in chinese at all by their parents but hey, at least they don’t deny it!

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Notice anything wrong with that? LOL

EDIT: Just in case you get it wrong and think I wrote the farticle, read the comments. For the really thick skulled: I’m ridiculing this marticle. And you suck.

<romantic> True love doesn’t put good looks into consideration.

You know what? Only fugly people say that. This Shrek bullshit is really getting on my nerves.

(i will update this when i wake up, so enjoy the topic and imagine an awesome read. Losers.)

Ok, as promised, i will now update this. Yes i know i’m about 2 days late, but who the hell cares. I don’t, and i bet you don’t either. If you do, you will die in 3 days unless you tell 3 people about this blog within 3 minutes. Yes, this is a stupid chain letter, get on with it already. 2:00 remaining (I know you took that long to read that sentence, after all, you have to be an idiot if you read my blog). 1:00 left.

Time’s up. You’re dead. I’ll miss your audience. Hey if you come back soon maybe i will offer a pardon.

Ihr seid alle ficking Idioten!

(It’s been a while since i’ve updated this thing, so without further ado….)

Malaysians are a paranoid bunch who love rumors. They live for rumors, and then die because of rumors. I think if all the rumors were to suddenly cease, half the population will die immediately due to lack of "air", a quarter will die a slow and painful death due to lack of "food", and the rest will wander around aimlessly like homeless hippies due to lack of "direction" in life.

I mean, it’s not that i have a problem with people who like to know what’s cooking behind the scenes. I myself look out for speculation and leaks on the possible specs on the latest greatest yet to be released computer stuff like that brand new gfx card with 64 pixel pipelines and an awesome new unified shader architecture with ultrasuperfuckingfast memory (if you didn’t understand any of that, you don’t deserve to eat).

I also have no problem with people who are extremely cautious. I understand that i can fall down and die when i walk down the stairs, or my computer monitors could just blow up in my face and kill me at any instant. I also realize that i could get run over when i cross the street, which is why i wait until there is a gap sufficiently large for me to fall down in the middle of the road, get up, and still make it across safely before i attempt any crossing.

What i do not understand is people who come up with ridiculous conspiracy theories (especially about the government) like the ones i highlight here (taken from some forums i frequent to kill time when i am absolutely bored).

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<DumbAce1> I am scared that Malaysia will implement only Islam as the allowed religion in the country!

DumbAce1, you do realize that there is a much higher chance of you being your brother’s father than that happening. A significant portion of the Malaysian population is not of the Islamic faith, and i do not think even the muslim population would agree to such a stupendous thing. Yes maybe you hate us muslims and distrust us, but just to let you know, the feeling is not mutual. We don’t hate stupid people. In Islam we teach stupid people so they become smart.

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<DumbAce2> Its the rumours from friend to friend. I heard a lot of stuff that I cannot say here. I afraid he’ll sue me. Its more than what media say. Its just too creepy to say. I very afraid. You should be very afraid too. Everyone should be very afraid.

Yes…. be afraid…. be very afraid. Your shadow is actually a tracking device that the guy put on you. Notice how it is there even when there the sun is directly above your head. Yes, look closely… it may be smaller than at other times, but it’s certainly there. He’ll come get you soon… very soon… because i’m sure he cares about morons like you a lot.

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<DumbAce3> (Spreads ridiculous rumors about the government). Can’t say more…. scared that the government will catch me!!

1 week later….

<DumbAce3> (Spreads more ridiculous rumors….). Wow, they catch me for sure this time!!

1 month later…

<DumbAce3> (Still working hard…). ZOMG!! this time me finished… they surely come look for me!!

1 year later…

<DumbAce3> (Mass production…). Wow, they catch me for sure this time!! (recycled exclamation, but that’s the whole point of mass production. Lots of the same thing for cheap)

And it goes on… need i say more?!